Let’s be honest hearing someone tell us that there are ways to become more confident is easy. But we all know that confidence comes from within self.
Mindfulness With Yoga
the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something.
“their mindfulness of the wider cinematic tradition”
A mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.
How many problems do we create for ourselves? Don’t worry about answering that question. I can already guess that the answers will be similar to mine. I use to have a ton of thoughts in my head that created problems and issues that did not exist in reality. When I found yoga, my life changed because my mindset changed.
I fell in love with yoga because I learned to accept my journey as my journey. When I step onto my yoga mat I step into another realm of my life, my world. When I am on my yoga mat I set my intention which changes daily but I keep one affirmation the same, ‘You are enough, live within the corners of your mat.’ It is so easy to allow our eyes to glance over at the other person and we begin to judge them and all of their perfect postures but that judgment is not single, it is buy-one-get-one-free. Because every time we judge one person that judgment comes from the inner comparison of ourselves. Therefore we start to compare ourselves to that yogi’s journey.
This is why I tell myself that I am enough and I live in the 4 corners of the mat. Being present in my own world, on my mat. Learning how to be more mindful takes a bit of being opening to start new things and place some things on pause. Mindfulness allows us to be more present in the current moment. We start to appreciate the smallest things more and more because we take the time to focus on those things. With the world gearing everyone around having a fast paced life with no stopping point, it is more important than ever to stop, inhale, exhale deeply and live in the present. There is no other place that is more important than right now.
How do you stay mindful in this busy world?
Finding your voice in the blogosphere can sometimes feel like a muffled cry. This is why taking a deep breath, that’s right, inhale and exhale very loudly. You will often notice that you just didn’t scream loud enough.
Its not that I have been trying to keep all of these good memories to myself… Okay, maybe I have had several mornings were I wake up imagining that the California sun will kiss my face…I quickly snap back to reality at the chill in the Texas air. I was invited to come to Altitude Design Summit this past Jan./Feb.
My year could not have started off better than having such an honorable opportunity to be amongst amazing entrepreneurs and creators. I mean they were literally everywhere! And it felt so darn good to be in the midst. Now I didn’t travel alone, I tagged teamed Alt Summit with my oldest sister Tiffany with www.tiffanydbrown.com and we had a BLAST! Since this was our first time to Palm Springs California we decided to rack up on the ‘first-time’ experiences. Starting with taking an Uber to the airport the list continues on to staying in our first Airbnb and our first Task Party. *A moment of silence as I reminisce* aaahhhhh what fun!
Okay I’m back.
So at the summit I spoke to entrepreneurs and content creators on a very important topic; 7 Ways to Breathe Life into Your Lifestyle Photos. I walked in thinking that I was about to provide the creative something important I achieved this and so much more because I walked away feeling empowered from them. The room was packed and people were standing against the walls but everyone was tuned into my 7 ways… I was so inspired that I ended up sharing 10 tips! I even had guest ask me questions about how to over come small pesky facial expressions that they usually make in their photos. The reason why all of these things are important should be asked. Because if you are a entrepreneur, fashion blogger, or social media influencer you are the model for your brand. The world wide web runs on visuals and having strong visuals that tell your story are important. Alt Summit gave me the opportunity to connect with like minded creative humans. I walked away feeling empowered and inspired more than ever.
Thank you Altitude Design Summit for the amazing experience, until next year!
The difference between being confident versus conceited is easy to get these intertwined and confuse one with the other. It is important to separate the two and have a clear understanding of what both forms mean. Let’s start with the definitions;
Conceited means; excessively proud of oneself; vain.
Confident means; feeling or showing confidence in oneself; self-assured.
Wow! How those two are very different from one another. I am sure we have all come in contact with someone that just wasn’t as open and friendly yet you got the impression really quick that they were not lacking in being all about themselves. Then there are some of you who may have met someone who was friendly, kind and you got a really good feeling that they were self-assured in what they were doing.
Knowing the difference between being confident and conceited allows you to make the right decision on what type of characteristic you want to have. I remember when I first started seeing that I was lacking in my self- confidence. I knew that something had to change within me but I was so afraid that if I became more confident that it meant that I would be walking around with my nose in the air, not kind to others, self- centered and rude. I knew this was not who I wanted to be! So I dug a little deeper and learned that what I as thinking to be a confident trait was actually a conceited way of self.
Tell me which characteristic do you express?
I started my career as a police officer in November 2009. In January 2010 I was dressed in khakis with black boots and a name tag marked DAVIS. After 6 months of weekly exams, daily physical fitness test and 6 hours of Texas Law I graduated as a sworn Police Officer in June 2010.
“I didn’t choose to wear a blue uniform, bulletproof vest and velcro belt lined with equipment that would save my life when it was threatened just because it was a fun job. It wasn’t job to me; I became who I was because I have a purpose, to help people. To give another human the best of whom I am. To save a stranger’s life when they don’t know me nor do they owe me. This is what I was sworn to do.” – D. Davis
In uniform society expected things from me and of me. They expected me to be there whenever and wherever they called for help. The expected me to be the one to resolve issues that they created. They expected me to take control and calm any type of disruption. They expected me as a 5’ 3’ female to handle men and women that stood taller than me and have the look of death in their eyes. But because of the uniform I wore that carried more pieces of equipment that I would be required to use to save my life and the life of others, I still had expectations.
What does any of this have to do with me being a model? Well it has everything to do with it. For years I have told only those who needed to know of my previous career. Even when I was still wearing the uniform for over 40 hours a week only a few people knew what I did as my full time job. I did this because I knew of the expectation that lives in the badge. I know of the judgment that comes with the uniform. I know that everyone does not like the po-po and that when they say, ‘What’s up BOSS’, that they are calling me a Stupid Son of a Bi@%h, backwards. Yes, I know all about the feeling of being hated not because of who you are but simply because of what uniform you wear.
In August 2014 I turned in my 2 weeks notice and on Thursday night I walked into the locker room for the last time, untied my boots, removed my bullet proof vest and unpinned my badge. I stopped half undressed alone in the locker room with my hand holding my badge. I felt the weight in it, every pound that it carried for over 5 years. My eyes began to water because for the first time I was stepping away from something that I worked so hard for. Literally, blood, sweat, tears, and judgment, all of these things that I pushed through so I could help a stranger. So I could reach my hand out to someone and help him or her. Did I do this in my 5 years? I like to believe that I did. I like to believe that the man that I pulled out of a burning vehicle thinks so. Or the mom that was on the street at 1 a.m. in 35 degree weather with her 5 month old baby felt that I helped her find a warm place to stay that night. Even the drunk guy that cussed me all the way to the detox appreciated a safe place to sleep it off. Who knows, I will never know if I truly helped anyone. But this was the beauty of the job, you work hard all day helping those who hated you. Feeling unappreciated but always rushing to the call.
This post isn’t about me being a model you know, the pretty side of things. This is a small insight on someone’s life that wore the blue. I know everyone has the power of their own decisions and their own choices. We have the right to stand up for what and whom we want. I have seen a lot of my friends true colors in these past months. 2016 has brought about a lot of pain, and a lot of change. I just ask one thing, if you are reading my blog post the next time you see one that I use to be, the one in the blue. Please take a moment to think.
Just a moment,
to see beyond the uniform and see that they are human too.
With love and hope for a better future, I deeper view of reality.
Yours truly, Officer D. Davis #444
The Welcome back is more for myself than for anyone else.
As most of you might have noticed that over the past few months I haven’t been as active in the community nor on social media. There are a few reasons for this and I want to share them with you. I believe in transparency and openness, this is something that has always been a part of my being and whenever I find myself slipping away from this I am always drawn back to the truth. Reality is reality if we ignore it that doesn’t make it go away it just gives us a harder slap in the face when we accept it. But enough of my soapbox quotes let’s get on with the show. First I have a disclaimer.
Let’s start from the beginning. This year has opened so many opportunities for me that I never imagined yet this has been the hardest year that I have ever experienced. At the beginning of the new year I started my business as a petite model coach. Opportunities began flowing in and I was so estactic for every single one. But I quickly realized that it isn’t about the moments when the lights are on, the real work happens when you are alone and the lights are off. My self doubt went into full time. Yet I keep pushing. Self-Doubt Overload.
May 16, 2016: I am notified that my job is ending, June 30th will be my last day of employment. Laid-off. This was a job that I truly enjoyed. It was the first job that gave me an opportunity to get back into the working field out side of police work. This is my first time being without a job since college and my first time being laid-off. At first I see this as a sigh of relief, I will finally have time to focus fully on my business, yeah. This sounded good until something deeper started to sink into my mind. I found myself at the Texas Workforce Commission office applying for unemployment. Even with the full support of my partner who comforted me with the fact that I dint have to go back to work, she would support the household while I focused fully on my business. With love in my heart I found myself struggling with letting go and being dependent on her. Jobless.
July 7, 2016: I get a phone call, there has been a shooting in Dallas and several Police Officers have been shot. I start phoning and texting my friends who are still wearing the uniform. With sweating palms and racing heartbeat waiting for my phone to vibrate and see the reply from them so I know that they are safe. Then they tell me that we lost one. My heart stops. I ask who did we lose….Brent Thompson. My eyes fill with tears and there is a heavy weight the center of my chest. I just lost a good friend I blessed to have the opportunity to attend the memorial service and pay my last respects to my fellow brother in blue. This was a very hard day. The feelings of wanting to get back into uniform came over me, then anger and disbelief. To be honest, I haven’t fully let go of this. Loss of friend.
August 20, 2016: Thinking that I am in full control of everything. Then that one thing happens and the overwhelm starts flowing out via my attitude and affecting my personality. I get into an irrational misunderstanding with my sister. Which leads to guilt, pride and judgment. Emotional mess.
September 8, 2016: I hit the brick wall. It was a hard hit. A night full of tears, rage and uncontrollable emotions. After talking to the Psychiatrist I am told that I am suffering from depression. I admit myself into group therapy. Going to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription for anxiety and depression. Wake-Up call.
October 3, 2016: First day of Intensive Yoga Teacher Training. From October 3 – October 21, 2016, 200 hours of training from 7 am – 7 pm, Monday through Friday. Yoga has been the only thing that I was consistently motivated to do throughout my personal struggles. Most of my savannas ended with me crying on my mat. This grew my deep love for yoga. I fully submitted myself to a journey into who I was to find what I wasn’t. Yoga saved my life. Inner Light.
So we are now in the current day. My days are brighter and my heart is so much lighter. I have a lot of apologies to issue out. Dealing with depression doesn’t just affect you behind closed doors. It reaches out of the dark and touches everything in your life, relationship, family, friends, business, goals, possible opportunities and connections. I have emails that are unanswered and appointments that I did not keep. I hit the lowest part of life that I have experienced so far. I am not looking for sympathy just a level of empathy with those I let down. In my disclaimer I wanted to be clear on my current emotional status, I am not sick, I am not a victim and I do not need saving. I say all of this because these are the facts that others can make you feel when dealing with depression.
Yoga has helped me realize and overcome so many levels of egotistic thoughts. It also gave me a chance to accept the clear vision that I have for my life and goals. I am going to be taking a more forward approach on a more positive mind & body experience for women. By cultivating confidence and igniting inspiration within themselves. And it starts with this blog post.
P.S. I kept my depression a secret from my family & friends. My girlfriend, Larisa has been my knight in shining armor through it all. You all are the second ones that I am sharing this with. I embrace each and every one of you.
With Love & Acceptance,